Today I had a reminder about personal boundaries, and being able to differentiate between my “stuff” and another person’s “stuff”. Thankfully, I was instantly able to do this, but it reminded me how letting other people’s “stuff” affect us can impact on our mood.
Someone – a person I’ve had limited interactions with, and those online – made a derogatory comment about me in a Facebook message. To be fair, he probably thought he was being funny, but I did NOT find it amusing.
In the past, I know I would have experienced his comment as a barb. Do you know the sort of thing I mean? A sharp, stinging, painful thing, which would have slid oh-so-easily past my defences and HURT! Perhaps it would look something like this:
Beautiful, clear, pristine boundaries, with a delightful space between “Me” and “Not Me”. That other person? Their stuff isn’t my stuff. What’s more, I did so without having to think it through, or analyze the dynamics of what was going on.
So: a little “yay” moment for me today!
Are you able to deal well with other people’s stuff? I’d love to read your comments.