Well … it’s started.

I’m just home from my last session with my therapist for five weeks. That’s right – I won’t see him again until five weeks from today; and we’ll have no contact at all: no phone calls, no emails, no notes in the mail.

It feels good; well, by that I mean that I feel appropriately unsettled by what’s going on – but not devastated.

Some of the emotions I’ve felt leading up to this last session are:

  • anxiety
  • anger
  • frustration
  • sadness
  • fear
  • concern (for my therapist)
  • pride (that I’m coping so much better in preparation for this break, and that I’m in touch with my feelings to a greater extent than in the past), and
  • gratitude (for the work we do together).

By the time 4:50 rolled around, though, I felt at peace. I’d said what I needed to say before our last session ended. I’d felt what I needed to feel.

Am I worried about the next five weeks? Not right now. I’ve started a special notebook, in which I’m drawing a picture for each day of the separation. (I started it on day D-3 last Friday. Today is Day Zero.) I feel stable within myself, especially now my body is free of those awful steroids. I’ve made appointments with other support people during this period.

My dearly beloved and I are in a good space right now, and I know my family and friends will be there, if I need them.

I think I’m going to be OK, and that feels good πŸ™‚

thanks heart



Filed under Up

6 responses to “Well … it’s started.

  1. hellokalykitty

    You are amazing DB :). Xoxo


  2. Jay

    I love the idea of drawing a picture in a journal… It is creative and expressive and yet, so simple. You sound like you’re in a good space and that makes my heart glad. Here if you need to vent or offload in this time πŸ™‚


  3. You will be fine. πŸ™‚


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