Don’t worry, the burglary was metaphorical; but since discovering my loss just minutes ago, I feel bereft.
The delightful Ellen commented “You get a lot done” on my post outlining yesterday’s events word by word. I was surprised to read those words (“Who, me? The currently-unemployable one?”) and then felt very grateful towards her. Afterwards, I was left thinking about my response.
The fact is, I did get a lot done yesterday. I did housework and worked out, published an eBook, and had two difficult appointments – one with the infamous medications bloke and another with my therapist.
I’ve relegated myself to that zone formerly reserved for housewives: “If you don’t get paid for it, it’s not real work”. Perhaps this relegation has been aided and abetted by others in my life whose attitudes I’ve picked up on.
What are the consequences of this set of beliefs?
- Always feeling “less than”, unworthy, needing to make up for missed time
- Not being able to appreciate my own efforts and achievements
- A whole lot of stress, mainly caused by secondary emotions (emotions triggered by primary emotional events).
Those are just the firs three consequences which popped into my head; I’m sure I could come up with more.
Quite clearly, belief about myself and the value of my efforts not working for me*. Problem is, I’m not sure how to tweak it. I think I’ll brush off my trusted and true ACT and CBT strategies and put them to work.a
Now, onto the next question: am I mentally and physically prepared for a day of group therapy today? I don’t think so, but if I choose not to go, would I be cutting off my nose to spite my face? I feel overtired, drawn, haggard, depleted, spent. This does not feel like a good way to begin a confronting day. Of course, if I don’t go, there will be consequences …
I’ll see how I’m feeling in an hour or so. (Would you go, if you were me?)
* Ha, ha – did you see that accidental pun?