No, I don’t want to talk about it

Seriously, how many times does life have to kick a gal when she’s down?! No, I don’t want to talk about it. Well, actually I do want to talk about it, but I don’t know what I want to say. So, instead, I’ll fall back on a good old Gratitude List. Here goes:

Today I am grateful that

  • even though life stucks, there’s still Nutella and Five A.M. yoghurt to help ease the pain (stressor measure: am now eating Nutella with a spoon … and it isn’t a teaspoon)
  • the Facebook peer support group was so good to me yesterday evening. You guys rock. (If you want to join the WordPress Mental Health Community Peer Support Group on Facebook, read the info under the tab on my homepage – dysthmiabree.com)
  • people are so generous with their time and expertise (I’m thinking in particular of you, Juan Blea)
  • last night it rained and today it is sunny. Yay!
  • oh, all right then, I’ll admit that perhaps – just maybe – there are some not-so-horrid aspects to my life right now. But that’s as far as I’ll go. No further.

Be good to each other, my sweetlings, and I’ll try to put my angst into words tomorrow. At present I can only say “It’s crap. It’s really, really bad, and I’m scared.”

But hey, at least I can still type, right? [hollow laugh]

XX DB

29 Comments

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29 responses to “No, I don’t want to talk about it

  1. Well, if you don’t want to talk, then don’t talk about it… but could you pass the rolls please?

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  2. You forgot one! Your writing is amazing, and you matter to us on wordpress.

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  3. Cal

    Get a glass of milk to go with that tablespoon of nutella and dunk the spoon into the milk between licks. It’s like being a little kid again!

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    • Ooh yeah! That sounds very good πŸ™‚
      I’ve flossed, brushed and rinsed – this is my way of stopping the evening snacking post-dinner! So i will look forward to Nutella and milk tomorrow.
      Thank you for giving me something to look forward to. x

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  4. Mmmmmmm Nutella, used to be you had to search for the stuff here but now it’s everywhere. I think i go have me some.

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  5. Thank you for the sweet mention in your post. I appreciate it!

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    • No, thank you for the advice you gave me yesterday. General though it was (as was obviously appropriate) it did help inform a really great conversation last night with my partner. It was a “no-blame” conversation and afterwards we both agreed that we had felt heard. He acknowledged that he does drink as a response to stress and even – amazingly – said that if he trusted my psychiatrist (which he doesn’t) he might even go consult him. I didn’t make any suggestions about him changing his behaviour, but he himself alluded to the possibility. He also had things to say about how he often feels he can’t talk about certain things for fear of triggering a mood plummet in me, so it was good to hear that. In all, nothing new was said, but I got to express my extreme disappointment that he had chosen to drink on a night when I would greatly prefer he hadn’t, and he also got some things off his chest. I’d call that a win-win, with bonus points!a
      Thanks again.

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      • Wow, that is really great to hear. I have to give you credit: You are one gutsy person for taking a chance to express and not blame!! Love and light to you and your husband!!

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      • Thank you so much πŸ™‚ I think sometimes things which look brave are simply things for which the time has come. I had to talk to him last night; the only question was, would I do a good job of it, or a bad one? Things worked out well, so I guess it was the latter.

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  6. freddy

    I tend to think that even when we’re having a bad moment, if we’re blogging about it then we’re reaching out and not merely venting or floating in the mire of our own emotional swamp. That’s a good thing.

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