Yeah, so, let down again

Feel let down by another friend today.

She arranged to meet other friends, when we’d agreed I’d come visit her.

Perhaps I should be more gracious, but it’s as though I just don’t matter to other people, except for what they can get from me.

I truly believe in mutual support, in giving back, in trying to be supportive, but it gets hard when it seems all one way.

Perhaps I’m just having a bad day. Hope so.

May tomorrow be a better day.

11 Comments

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11 responses to “Yeah, so, let down again

  1. it’s tough, isn’t it? trying to figure out… is it me? is it my friend? i empathize. i think sometimes it helps for me to look and see if there’s a pattern. if this friend has let me down again and again – and especially if i’ve talked to her/him about it – i will take a step back and get some space. it’s not that i am ending the friendship, but there are other friends whom don’t let me down. or people out there that might be great friends whom i need to give a chance. so i decide, for myself, to make sure my time is not wasted on some one who is constantly letting me down. and if they truly are a friend, they will come looking for me.

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    • I think I ended up in a place of self-pity last night, which I’m not proud of, but there you have it – that’s the facts of the matter, and none of us are human 😦
      My friend did have a ‘good’ reason for forgetting me; she’s having her first course of ECT. I just felt really hurt that she arranged to have two other sets of people visit her today when we’d arranged that I’d come in. She is very very low, doesn’t feel she can tell her family about her mental illness (so has few supports), and I’ve been visiting her every 2-3 days for the last 3+ weeks, so when my mood plummeted last night I just took it hard that she’d forgotten me. The people who are visiting her today don’t seem to have been as supportive.
      Anyway, it’s not like me to be so bitchy and grumpy! Well, actually, it is – but generally for people who really deserve it, like the doctor who nearly lost me my driver’s licence because he never got around to filling out a form for me last year, or when I see racism on the news, but not my poor friend who can’t remember things right now.
      You’re right about friends, though. Last year, when I was in and out of hospital a lot, allowed me to see the sheep from the goats, friend-wise.
      Thank you for your kind words; they’re appreciated. X

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  2. Tomorrow will be better!
    People forget… and it really stings at the time, but it’ll get better 🙂

    For me, it helps to remember a time when I made a similar mistake as my friend, and examine my motives. Was I trying to be hurtful? Was that a person I valued? How did I feel afterward? And then remember that your friend may be feeling the exact same way you did at that time.

    I’m sorry you were let down. Tomorrow will definitely be better 🙂

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    • Thanks, Danielle. Yes, I’m afraid I ended up in a place of self-pity last night, which was not becoming. Ah well, none of us are human.
      My friend had a good reason for forgetting – she’s having her first course of ECT – and though it hurt, I need to get over myself and find my compassion again. I know I can do that 🙂
      Thanks again for your kind words. They are appreciated.

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  3. So sorry you were let down today… I know, for me, I try like hell to get everything right, all the time, especially when it involves interacting with someone else, so when that other person doesn’t give me the same consideration it takes me down. It’s easier to deal with strangers than it is with friends.

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    • Thanks, Gavin. My friend had a good reason for forgetting (first course of ECT) so I just need to get over myself and move on. I ended up in a place of self-pity last night, perhaps not surprising, given the day I’d had 🙂 but that’s my truth. I can certainly move on from here!
      Appreciate the kind words. Thanks again.

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  4. “Don’t take things personally” is one of the Four Agreements from Don Miguel Ruiz’s book titled as such. It’s one of the hardest things to internalize when we’re in a fragile state, but if enough perspective can be afforded, it almost always turns out to be the case (especially so if you’re a person who’s conscious of things like this). It’s always something that the other person is going through and not a reflection upon you. Best of luck on working through these things!

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    • Thank you so much. You are absolutely right. I allowed myself to sink down into self-absorbed self-pity 🙂 Which isn’t to say that the other person’s behaviour doesn’t need to be addressed, but it needs to be addressed appropriately, respectfully and (I hope this makes you smile!) from a place of love for both of us – her and myself!
      Please smile 🙂 I want to make someone smile today.
      Her reason for forgetting me is quite a good one – she’s undergoing her first round of ECT treatments. My feelings of self-pity last night arose from (a) my own depression/anxiety (b) having an earache (c) the fact that I have really put myself out to support her – spent money I don’t have on parking and petrol, and spent a lot of time travelling to and from her clinic. All of these are mine to own. (Unfortunately.)

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