Post Therapy Reflection

I totally looooove psychodynamic psychotherapy. Just thought I’d put that out there.

I have an amazingly skilled therapist who plays the ‘tabula rosa’ role of the psychodynamic therapist to the nth degree. When I first started working with him a few years ago, I found this unnerving, but now I see the richness of possibilities it offers (even if I do still rib him about how everything we talk about ends up having some connection to what’s going on between us – “the universe doesn’t revolve around you,” I laugh, knowing that in this modality of therapy, it sort of does!).

So today’s revelations included me realizing that:

  • I’ve been living in my head (i.e. my intellect) this week, and feeling emotionally numb because I haven’t wanted to feel certain anxieties or angers
  • My existential angsts (“How can our universe exist?” “I just don’t understand how I can live in a world so rich in detail! It’s too much to grasp!”) reflect, or are mirrors of, the anxieties of my living situation. In other words, it’s easier to worry about how a universe can possibly exist than worry about how I’m going to survive this week, and I’m so tied up in anxiety about both those things that I’ve just switched off and gone numb instead of feeling them
  • There are some seemingly-innocuous things which have happened this week which my inner child has experienced as a threat (hence further anxieties, though not felt; hence more numbness)
  • Through bringing the unexpressed angers to the forefront of my mind, I’ve determined specific and constructive actions which will help me move forward and through those angers
  • I am still in a healing phase of my life, and cannot be expected to do too much.

Yay for me, yay for my wonderful therapist, and may I please take a nap now? I’m zonked.

5 Comments

Filed under Out, Up

5 responses to “Post Therapy Reflection

  1. I think that would definitely knock me out too. I’m glad to hear you have that kind of relationship with your therapist. I really like mine and I do find benefit in seeing her, but sometimes I crave something more. Unfortunately, where I live, there are only so many options.

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    • Yes, it’s a real problem, isn’t it? I have a friend who lives in the country and drives three hours each way to see a psychiatrist because the only two anywhere near where she lives are just useless.
      I’ve always found, with anyone I’ve done successful therapy with, there’s been a sort of “aha” clicking moment when I’ve discovered I can trust them and they know what they’re doing. With my current therapist, the wait for the “aha” moment was the longest, but he had been recommended to me by my previous one, whom I trusted implicitly, so I waited it out. It was worth it.

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  2. Pingback: Hypersomnia | In & Out, Up & Down: Dysthymia Bree's Musings On Mental Health and Psychiatric Wards

  3. I giggled a little reading this because I, too, have done psychodynamic therapy and had the “Not everything is about YOU!” conversation. It was incredibly effective for me, too.

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    • I’m so pleased to hear that 🙂 I’ve been reading a lot about the science of psychotherapy, and psychodynamic psychotherapy in particular, recently. This came in handy when a family member scoffed “I didn’t know there *was* any science to psychotherapy”. In the last three years, there’s been a lot of research coming out in the nexus between the fields of neuroscience and psychotherapy – fascinating!

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