The Train Has Left Procrastination Central

I’ve written a bit these last few days about feeling low in energy and not getting on with a big, boring, tedious job which needed doing.

Well, today I made major headway with the big, boring, tedious job (yay!) but am still low in energy (not so yay).

Perhaps my expectations were unrealistic, but I really thought that, having girded my loins and disciplined myself to do a big chunk of work – and, believe me, that was not easy – I’d feel that a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I imagined my head would clear, I’d feel fantastic, and float away on a dreamy cloud of self-righteous ecstasy! Truth be told, that was one of my major motivators to actually buckling down and getting the job done: “You’ll feel so good once you’ve ticked all today’s boxes,” I told myself.

I just feel tired.

Still, I can be proud that I have completed every task I set myself today. I overcame all the excuses my over-talkative head came up with for me to avoid working, all the depressed-mind stuff which gets in the way. It’s good to see all those ACT and CBT skills at work. I guess, as I type this, I am beginning to feel proud about that. Perhaps my psychological pleasure-trip will come after I’ve taken a break and overcome this fatigue from unaccustomed exertion.

Have you been stuck in Procrastination Central recently? Are you still there, or have you managed to leave the station? What gets your engines going if you’re stuck? I’d love to hear from you! You know what to do …

XX DB

11 Comments

Filed under Out, Up

11 responses to “The Train Has Left Procrastination Central

  1. Hello Bree. I stumbled across your blog. Glad I did. Like you, I have had the same struggles of anxiety and depression. Still do. Mornings are the worst. The answer, as trite as it may sound, is accountability. Who are you accountable to? I keep a daily task list, which allows me to see what tasks are getting done and which are being put off. Unanimously, the tasks that I find a way of putting off are those where I have no one to be accountable to. There are many things that fit into the “it would be nice to do” category such as sort my book shelves. However, until there is someone or something to hold me accountable, it just will not happen.

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    • Hi John,
      Thanks for dropping by! It’s great to ‘meet’ you.
      Part of the problem these last couple of weeks has been that my husband has been on leave from work (we live in Australia, and it’s summer over here). Before he was on leave, I had a routine worked out: daily lists, as you say, weekly phone calls with my best friend to review the past seven days, chats with my support people, and so forth. We (my husband and I) both had a pretty awful year last year, and I wanted to devote these weeks to being present with him. However, the demands of everyday life continue πŸ™‚ Hence both my lack of accountability and my procrastination over the last little while.
      Sometimes, though, I can guilt myself about things which just don’t matter! That’s not procrastination (though it feels like it) it’s just good old depression-self-loathing. It takes wisdom to discern the difference.
      Cheers,
      DB πŸ™‚

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  2. Actually, I normally live in procrastination central. This month I think I am doing a little better than normal.
    The best thing for getting me going our the realization of consequence. So, I try to put things in places to remind me of the consequences of my procrastination.
    It doesn’t always work, but I’m trying, and I think I’m starting to get better.

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    • Well done! πŸ™‚ I’m so pleased to hear that.
      In responding to another reader’s comment, I’ve realized that some of the pressure I’ve put on myself lately has been unnecessary – the job needed to be done, sure, but it didn’t need to be done yesterday (or even today). So that wasn’t exactly procrastination, just good old depression-and-anxiety self-hatred!
      It does feel good to have got a good chunk of work done, though. I’m finally getting that post-procrastination “high” I was hoping for!

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  3. Pingback: The Good Stuff | In & Out, Up & Down: Dysthymia Bree's Musings On Mental Health and Psychiatric Wards

  4. I’ve been in Procrastination Central for months – I’m supposed to be doing schoolwork but I can’t seem to make myself do it. It’s totally online so there are no deadlines, therefore I don’t do it. I’m still waiting for something to get my engines going. I blame my lack of self-esteem.

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  5. After a major make or break undertaking, i have been super stuck. Hoping that passes soon

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