2013: Denial

Inspired by Ellen Gregory’s post reviewing her year, I wondered: what word would summarize 2013 for me?

Denial.

It’s not a pretty word, but unfortunately it describes – and explains – much of my year.

Actually, during my first session with my therapist in January, I said to him: “I think we’re going to be talking a lot about denial this year.” Unfortunately, the problem with denial is that, by definition, you’re not aware that you’re in its grasp. It was denial about certain things in my life which lead to my depression and anxiety spiralling out of control mid-year, resulting in some nightmare times, near misses, three hospital admissions, numerous medication changes and a lot of stuff I’d rather forget.

It was denial about the impact my eating habits were having on my body which lead to my putting on 30kg (though some of the medication changes will have contributed to that, too).

Further denial meant that I let some other health concerns slip, which then became Things Which Must Be Dealt With (though, again, this was during the three month period where I lived more in a hospital than at home – so perhaps there were other factors at work).

For the last few months, I’ve been confronting some of the things I was in denial about. I won’t lie: I know I haven’t brought all of them into my conscious mind yet, and there are some which are there, yet still awaiting action; however, it is true to say I am more in touch with things as they are, rather than as I wish they were.

What words would I wish for 2014? Well-being; peace; groundedness; glow; connectedness; productivity; and – what the hell? – prosperity. The latter’s unlikely to get a look-in, but I’ll add it to the wishlist, anyway.

Is there a word which sums up 2013 for you? And what words would you like to characterize your 2014?

5 Comments

Filed under Out

5 responses to “2013: Denial

  1. I think the word that both sums up my 2013 and what I hope will sum up 2014 a year from now is WORK. I have been doing a lot of work on myself but as far as I think I have come, I need to resist the urge to rest, and keep on working. It’s going to be a tough year, but I believe it will also be a rewarding one. Be well.

    Like

  2. Best wishes from the land of pom!

    Like

  3. Hope this year brings you all the peace, groundedness and prosperity you wish for. Kudos to you, I think, for starting this blog and addressing that denial (which we are all gbuilty of at one time or other). Hugs XO.

    Like

So, what do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s