Have you ever let go of a childhood dream? I’ve just put one on hold. Over the last 24 hours I’ve continued to reflect on suzjone’s excellent post on “What Inspires You?” and have continued to learn from it. Of course, my thoughts are a continuation on yesterday’s response to her post, in which I outlined the source of my inspiration. This morning I reluctantly concluded that, willingness aside, I am not yet able to fulfill one of my life’s ambitions.
Since I was a child, I have always wanted to be an author. I have wanted to write epic science fiction, sweeping fantasy, books which would stretch the both the minds and the heartstrings of their readers.
I am forced to realize that this is not where I am in my life right now. I thought the time was right, I thought I had the skills and the time and the motivation to complete such a project, but it hasn’t been happening – and, thanks to suzjones, I now know why.
That writing wasn’t coming from the source of my inspiration, the bedrock of truth which I talked about yesterday. I thought it was – or, maybe, I just really wanted it to be. So, sadly, I must put one project aside. It may be that I take it up again someday, but its time is not now. So, what next?
Well, I’ve always been pretty good at writing non-fiction. Taking a complicated idea and writing about it in such a manner that it becomes clear to others is something I believe I can do. And there has been a major project lurking at the back of my mind for some time now …
It will be hard work. Of course, writing fiction is hard work, too, but writing non-fiction requires a different sort of labour: engagement with, and response to, the writing of others. There is a part of me which is shying away, crying “NO! Don’t start that! It’s like picking at the loose thread in a jumper! It’s going to be too big, too much!” and there’s another part of me which is just yawning and saying, “Can’t I just lie in the sun with another cup of tea, reading, instead?”
But I suspect the time has come. Time to lay aside what I think I want to do, and begin the task which I feel deeply drawn to, and have for some time.
Suzjones, my dear new friend (because – like it or lump it – you’ve had such a profound effect on me you’re in the ‘friend’ category now) what have you done to me?! With one post, you’ve altered the way I view myself and changed the course of my endeavours.
Truly, who can believe the sword is mightier than the pen?