Doldrums

Having something of a ‘reality crash’ morning today.

Freaking out about our financial situation: the dearly beloved’s contract comes to an end early next year, and my health means I can’t work. I have an income protection insurance claim in the works, but I don’t think it will be paid out (because insurance companies are evil, and will find any way they can to avoid paying out). I wonder whether I ever will be able to work again, and what I might do.

I am soooooooo fat – “because of what the doctors did to me” – it’s really hard, to have put on so  much weight in such a short time. I know there are no short cuts in weight loss, which is very depressing, because one thing I used to love to do was run – and I certainly can’t run with this body.

I keep being sold bum steers by doctors. “You’re eligible for a Health Care Card” (which would entitle me to a higher benefit for the ten different medications I’m prescribed at the moment). “Just take this form down to Centrelink.” Turns out I’m not, so I just end up crying afterwards. “This drug will stabilize your mood.” Bullshit.

FML.

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