Black Psych Ward Humour: Lightbulbs

How many Clinical Coordinators does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. That’s what student nurses and graduate nurses are for.

How many clinical psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Well, they’ll be able to change it quickly and efficiently, once they’ve figured out the correct DSM-V diagnosis. Until then, how do we know it needs changing?

How many Unit Managers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None: no lightbulb is going to stop working on my shift. (lightbulb quivers fearfully)

How many Nursing Shift Supervisors does it take to change a lightbulb?

It depends on the amount of paperwork waiting to be done: little, and they’ll do it; heaps, you’ve got no chance.

How many hospital maintenance staff does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but they can only do it once they’ve received the correct work order in triplicate signed and countersigned by the appropriate authorities, three days in advance. (Or immediately, if they’re bribed with chocolate.)

How many group therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Group therapy doesn’t change anything.

How many psychotherapists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one, but the lightbulb has to want to change.

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

One, provided the lightbulb is fully compliant with all components of treatment. Otherwise, it’s the lightbulb’s fault that it doesn’t get changed.

How many depressed psych patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

Who cares?

How many manic psych patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. No, two, because I can’t hold the ladder and climb it myself. Actually, three, because if two people lift me up on a chair, we won’t need to fetch the ladder, but the other two will have to be really strong people. Or perhaps four – we could make a special Lightbulb Changing Device from matchsticks in the Art Room. But we’ll need five, so one can [response cut short here]

How many bipolar psych patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two: one to rise up the ladder, and one to stay stuck at the bottom.

How many psych nurses does it take to change a lightbulb?

If you get the right psych nurse, just one, who’ll say  just the right thing at just the right time, and the lightbulb will virtually change itself.

2 Comments

Filed under Up

2 responses to “Black Psych Ward Humour: Lightbulbs

  1. Ha! My favourite is the psychotherapist: “the lightbulb has to want to change itself.” Thanks for the laughs. 🙂

    Like

So, what do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s